He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
At least life still wants to fuck me.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Randomize
