Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
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