hotel room ftw
babies were throwing up all over the place
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
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