What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
Randomize
