I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
