yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
Randomize
