my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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