Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
