cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize