Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
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