i was rollin on her like bob the builder
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
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