I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
