I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
don't judge my taste in strippers
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
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