Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
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