Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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