I think I just saw someone hide a body.
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
Randomize
