I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
Randomize
