He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Randomize
