i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
Houston, we have a squirter
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
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