I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
