hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
Randomize
