Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
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