Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
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