it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
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