HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
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