please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
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