dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
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