the police officer looked at my vomit and told me "milk was a bad choice"
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Randomize
