his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
