It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
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