If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Randomize
