C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
