You were right. It hurts to walk today.
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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