Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Randomize
