you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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