Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
Randomize
