Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
Just invented taco cereal.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
