I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Randomize
