Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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