this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
