Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize