and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
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