sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
