I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
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