It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
Randomize
