look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
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