well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
