I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Randomize
