At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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