He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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