drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
