So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
