I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
