If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Randomize
