Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
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