So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
Randomize
