Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
Randomize
