last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Randomize
